omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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