I got chris browned last night
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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