Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she looked like the before picture.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
