It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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