So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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