Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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