I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize