You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
40s are totally the cure
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
