He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
