Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
