question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
