which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
