I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Randomize
