I feel like I'm in dance class right now
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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