I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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