why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize