thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
