Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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