My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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