I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
