LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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