woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
