There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
