she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My penis needs a shock collar
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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