He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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