I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
