If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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