She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This house was built for laser tag.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
