Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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