i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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