To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
