Whod you bang
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
