I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
