I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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