I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
