I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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