Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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