Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize