My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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