Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
