I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize