smell my finger.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Two words: nipple clamps
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