He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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