there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
