She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He shit in the fireplace
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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