woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The ass gains better be worth it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
