paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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