Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
