Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
