the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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