The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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