she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
