fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
