thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
