in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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