I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Randomize
