He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
